This Moment Is All You Have

How often are you thinking of something else while you’re eating your dinner? Maybe you’re watching TV. Perhaps you’re thinking about work. Maybe you’re having a conversation with your partner and waiting for your turn to speak.

How often are you where you really are, and not distracted by some other thought, some other thing, a sensation, a sound, a worry about tomorrow, or a concern about the past?

We’ve heard the phrase “being in the moment” so many times now, that it has become clichéd and almost meaningless. But behind all clichés is some element of truth. And the reason why “the moment” is so important, is because it’s the only thing that exists.

 The past is long gone, the future hasn’t happened yet. The only place where we can do anything, where we can be anything, is right here and right now. In this moment.

But most of the time we’re not here. We’re somewhere else. Often, we’re in many places at once, and we’re not even aware of it. We might be thinking about last night’s TV while worrying about what the boss will say tomorrow. Lost in the news media and the pain of the world, while also worried about that dripping tap in the bathroom. Not really here, but in other places. In worry, in concern. They call it “lost in thought” for a reason.

Awareness, Intention and Attention

In the Japanese Tea Ceremony, the brewing of tea is elevated to the level of a cultural, ritual performance. Every step is conducted gracefully, exquisitely, with utmost care and attention. Guests arrive – no more than five – and are required to sit and wait until summoned by their host.

After bowing, they move into the main room, where they wash their hands and rinse their mouths with water. The final guest closes the door behind them with an audible bang, which alerts the host to their readiness. The host then enters, cleans all the tea-making utensils in front of the them, before carefully and diligently preparing the tea, in an iron pot that is warmed above a charcoal fire.

Each guest drinks from the same vessel – an ornate bowl or cup. They each admire the bowl, take a sip and then pass it to the next, who rotates it to ensure they are not drinking their tea from the same part of the cup as the previous guest. When everyone has sipped the tea, the cup is returned to the host, and the process repeats.

This might seem like a rather drawn out and laborious way to drink tea. But here’s the thing:

It’s not about tea. It’s about awareness, attention, and intention.

The Value of Attention

In every passing second, every passing moment, we have the opportunity to engage with what’s happening right now. We have the chance to take some kind of action – even if that action is simply paying attention to what’s happening around us, or within us. Because life is happening now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. But now.

It’s here, right now that we can focus fully on the task in front of us, and give it the respect it deserves. We can make tea in the most artistic manner imaginable. Or we can really listen to what the person in front of us is trying to say. Or we can really savour our food. Or we can take action to make the next moment – or a moment tomorrow, or ten years from now – better.

Where we place our attention in this moment is incredibly valuable. Combined with awareness and intention, it has the power to change us, our world, and the lives of others. But without intentional focus, without awareness, our attention can be stolen, and used to benefit others. Or worse, it can be used against us.

This is how advertising works. This is how political campaigning works. The louder someone shouts, the more we give away our attention to them. The more they repeat the same message, the more attention we give it, and the more it becomes ingrained within us. The more the message becomes truth. And the more our belief structures can be manipulated.

Why is this important?

Because here in this moment, is where decisions are made. It’s where we decide to vote for based on who gained our attention the most. It where we decide to buy things, based on which ad campaigns grabbed our attention the most. It’s where we decide to do something for our benefit, or the benefit of someone who stands to gain from attracting our attention the most.

But when we become aware of where our attention lies – in this moment. And direct it with intent, we can harness our power to shape our lives for the better. For our us and for others. Because when we take ownership of our attention, we can take ownership of this moment.

Changing Your World

This moment is where first steps and next steps are taken. It’s where ideas are born and explored and realised. It’s where breaths are taken, where textures are experienced, where golden sunsets are appreciated, and where we are born again. And again. And again. And each time with another opportunity to live.

 Because here, in this moment is where life lives. And all it asks is that we engage with it.

When we become aware of where we are right now, of what’s happening right now both around us and within us, the world opens up to us and asks us to dance. By being present and intentionally focusing on this moment and the things in it, we find new value, new meaning, and new control over ourselves and our surroundings. New perspectives of wonder and joy. Of understanding, and equanimity.

Beholden to No-One 

When we exist mindfully in the moment, we can become aware of how and why react to things the way we do. We can teach ourselves to take become objective observers to our emotions and our actions. And we can choose to focus here – and not there. And by doing so we can transform the world around us.

When we are present, in the moment and in ourselves, we begin to recognise when we  react uncontrollably and reflexively to external stimuli, and we can learn to choose a response instead. We can start to investigate why we feel a certain way, start to recognise unhealthy habits and behaviours, and processes that sabotage or undermine us. We can choose not to let external circumstances and influences control us and, paradoxically, by focusing on our internal state, we gain a modicum of influence over the external circumstances which are beyond our control.

Recognising our fear, our anger, our hatred and the influence they have on us, we are able to reduce their impact upon us. Recognising that all our feelings arise from within us, and are not caused by any thing, any situation, or any event – but are merely our reaction to it – we gain some power over our internal state. And in doing so affect how our surroundings mirror that back to us.

Being ‘in the moment’ also lets us choose how we perceive the world around us. We can slow down, and recognise things that we might overwise skip past as we hurry about trying to catch up with our worries about some other thing. We can pause to give a loved one our full attention. We can really taste the food that sustains us. We can appreciate sights, sounds, smells and all the blessings of life. We can filter the constant deluge of information that we are beset by every minute of every day, and choose where to intentionally focus our attention, instead of having it stolen from us by those who benefit from our eyes, ears and thoughts. 

Experience ‘Being’ on a New Level

When we are in the moment, aware of where our attention is focused, life reveals itself in more details and more texture. Music gains depth and emotion. Conversation becomes more interesting. The world around us comes alive with a cacophony of sights and sounds that we have merely to tune into by paying attention. And when we step up to life in this way, life steps up to meet us.

In the moment, we are no longer the victim. Life isn’t some unfair thing that happens to us, dragging us along kicking and screaming in the dirt as it surges relentlessly onwards. Instead we become the author of our life. The artist of our own masterpiece.

With our awareness we are able to recognise the things, feelings, emotions, traits and situations that serve us or don’t serve us. With intention, we are able to choose our actions, make better decisions, let go of the attachments that are working against us or for us, and guide attention toward a view of the world more aligned with who we truly are and a life that aligns with our true nature.

We can pay less attention to the things that trigger a negative response within us, and more attention to the things the work in our favour. Rather than seeing a rainstorm as something unwelcome that we need to shelter from, we can choose to dance in the rain safe in the knowledge that it will make our garden greener and more abundant.

In the moment, we can recognise the fear and choose what to do with it. We can recognise that our actions are being driven by a past memory, a habit or an external influence, and choose to be controlled or being in control. In the moment, we can become aware of the sounds and colours and smells of this place, right now. We can become aware of the feelings of others. We can get things done. 

In the moment we can see things without the additional meaning that us humans simply love to lavish on them. We can let go of hurt, of assumption, presumption, judgement, and injustice. We can accept things as they are, face them, and choose to tackle them or let them go.

We can choose to seek to understand before we judge or react or lash out. We can ask ourselves, what must it be like to be that person? What must it be like to be me?

And in this moment, we can take steps to find our peace, and calm the raging storms of discontent and misalignment that make us so unhappy. We can instead let passion and interest drive our progress, and not fear, panic or dissatisfaction.

We can breathe. Let it go. Forgive. Nurture ourselves. And finally take ownership of who we are.

Sometimes moments whizz by in the blink of an eye, and are forgotten before they’ve even been noticed. And sometimes moments stop to share something with us, offer us the opportunity of see our world in a blade of grass, or a grain of sand, or in the resting breath of a loved one. And then give us the chance to make the next moment – and us along with it – even better.
And what’s wonderful is that we get to decide.