Freedom Lies In Acceptance

“A man has two lives,” said Confucius. “And the second one begins the moment he realises he only has one.”

This is the existential struggle. When we suddenly awaken to the passing of time, realise where we are, and see that the corners of our leaves are just starting to yellow. For some of us, we planned well, made astute decisions from our school days to the present, and rest comfortably in the knowledge that everything is going according to plan.

For others among us, this is where we start to thrash around. We realise that time got away from us. We realise that we didn’t start playing the game until years after it had started, and that the decisions we made were the default because, let’s be honest, we didn’t know that we were supposed to make any decisions. We weren’t even aware of the game.

Or maybe we didn’t know what decisions to make. We didn’t know, at the age of fourteen, what we wanted to do with our lives. We still didn’t know at the age of twenty-five. For some of us, with our leaves beginning to curl, we still don’t know what to do decades later. And we’re frightened.

This midlife crisis can be terrifying. Suffocating. Paralysing. We begin to thrash about like a landed fish, desperate to get back to the water. 

But here we are.

The passing of time is inevitable, so no matter how much we freak out and panic, it will continue to pass just as it has done. It doesn’t mind. It will march on, and you can either let it carry you along with it or be dragged along behind it. But either way it will carry on its course regardless.

We can’t dam it, or slow it down. We can’t pull it back. Once it is spent it is gone. We can choose to freak out like the fish on the riverbank, or we can stop trying to wriggle free and find freedom in acceptance.

Because this is the way. Dharma. The Tao. It’s irrefutable. That’s just how it goes.

It is your job now to do the best you can. Stay calm, breathe in and breathe out, repeat, and let it motivate you. Let it propel you forward. Embrace its onward movement. Stop fighting. Start making progress that others might have started decades ago, and others may never start. Start making the small improvements. The savings. The growth. The efficiencies. The chances to be reborn.

Start chipping away at everything you are not, and become everything that you are. Begin sweeping until your path reveals itself. Align yourself with your true north and take that first step. You don’t need to know which way to go in order to begin your journey.

When we stop fighting and nurture acceptance, our attention moves from suffering to surviving, and then to thriving. We create space in our hearts, freshly released from the grip of anxiety, for a rebirth in each passing minute. And the resulting strength leads to actions that snowball, getting bigger and stronger and brighter each day. And with them we become bigger and stronger and brighter.

Revel in the changing colour of your leaves. Embrace every new moment as unique from the last. Let it be and let it go, because another one will be along in a moment, to be relished and embraced and celebrated. And notice, then, the new buds appearing.

Here it all is. And here we all are. And from here we can go anywhere.